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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056451">Purpose</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilotslifeforme/pseuds/pilotslifeforme'>pilotslifeforme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Original Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:41:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilotslifeforme/pseuds/pilotslifeforme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While Luke Skywalker and Han Solo receive medals for their heroism, Wedge Antilles faces judgement from Alliance officials of his actions during the Battle of Yavin.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Purpose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Buckle up, folks. This one’s a ride.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You shouldn’t go too hard on him, he’s one of the only few surv—“</p><p>“Lieutenant Antilles, attention!” The rebel officer shouted. Nobody really knew who he was, just one of the individuals giving the debrief. Wedge instantly shot up from his seat, his helmet neatly tucked under his arm.</p><p>All eyes were on either him or the officer, and though at attention, Wedge shifted in place uncomfortably. He didn’t like being in the spotlight, good or bad. He looked to the officer, waiting for him to speak, but he noticed the man’s face was damn near beet red.</p><p>“Lieutenant Antilles, tell me why you pulled out of that trench,” the officer asked with aggression, and Wedge’s brows furrowed.</p><p>“Sir, my micro-manoeuvring system was shot—“</p><p>“That’s bullshit and you know it, Lieutenant!” He snapped, and Wedge flinched. He’d already felt bad about it, no, not bad...horrible. His gloves made a sound as his grip tightened on his helmet.</p><p>“Sir, it’s true, my—“</p><p>“I don’t want to hear it. You could’ve bought Skywalker more time!” The officer continued in his harsh tone, and Wedge felt everything in him both burn and turn itself upside down. He bit the inside of his lip, his eyes locking on to the holotable a few feet in front of him.</p><p>He felt every eye in that room on him, and he hated it. He could barely breathe, remembering back to the quick ‘sorry’ as he pulled out from the trench, and a few seconds later seeing the explosion from Biggs’ fighter. He hated himself for that. He hated that it was a struggle getting out of there and back to base, there was no way he’d be able to dogfight with his systems shot. He pulled out of that trench to—</p><p>“What the hell were you thinking?” The officer raised his voice again, and Wedge’s eyelids fluttered instead of flinching and averted his eyes away from the man.</p><p>“Sir, please allow me to explain.” He finally got out, and the officer crossed his arms demonstratively. “Oh, please do, Lieutenant Antilles. I would love to hear your excuse.” The officer seethed.</p><p>Wedge drew in a shallow breath before beginning his statement.</p><p>“It was Skywalker, Darklighter and myself making the run. The trenches are narrow as is, and I spotted fighters incoming. If they had taken one of us down, that puts everybody else at risk, sir. I could not make the minor adjustments needed in order to stay in the trench, so I pulled out of it. I was trying to save the mission—“</p><p>“You and I both know that’s a terrible excuse.” The officer huffed, and Wedge broke his eye contact with the man and looked away. Those words stung, and this kind of attention felt horrible in every way. His heart was racing so much it caused him to break a light sweat, not only that, but the fresh one-day old memories of that occurrence haunting him. Stills and replays kept racing through his head, coupled with the noise of insecurity, failure, and guilt.</p><p>Guilt. It was damn near crippling already, and this was only worsening it. Was it true, though? Could he have really done more? Probably, but...</p><p>“Your purpose was to be a decoy to allow Skywalker the allotted time to make the shot,” the officer damn near hissed, “at least Darklighter could rest assured knowing he did his job well— but you? You pulled out because you’re nothing but a coward, and instead of embracing what you were meant to do in that trench, you decided to break away in order to save your own hide. That’s selfish, boy.”</p><p>Those words tore into him like a damn blaster bolt. Wedge felt his eyes water, but blinked rapidly and shook his to try and hide it, trying not to look at the faces of the other pilots and personnel in the room. He didn’t understand, he did his best...</p><p>“Dismissed.” The officer shouted, but Wedge stayed in place, his grip like iron on his helmet and his heart unable to drop to a slower rate. He was practically numb, until some pilot bumped into him by accident which knocked him out of his state. He didn’t feel like doing a damn thing, just going back to his barracks room and sitting in complete silence.</p><p>He didn’t want to interact or see anyone, besides, they all probably thought the same as that officer anyways. He’d have to live with knowing he could have- should have- done more, maybe it would’ve been him instead of Biggs...no, it should have been him instead.</p><p>At least he’d be fulfilling his “purpose”— just some pilot destined to die for a cause higher than one’s self. Wedge walked at a quickened base down the busy base corridors, not speaking a single word or casting a single glance to anyone. He entered his room, and just as the door hissed to a close, he threw his helmet at the wall with all the strength he could muster. Leaning against the wall next to his bed and sliding down to the ground, his ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head as his mind grew louder and louder.</p><p>He had a sickening feeling that he would never rid of this guilt. This pain. This failure.</p><p>Maybe he deserved it all.</p>
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